On a laundromat washing machine:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
On a College Bulletin Board:
The seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
Outside a disco:
MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN
EVERYONE WELCOME
On a maternity room door:
PUSH. PUSH. PUSH.
In an Office:
Warning: Dates On Calendar Are Closer Than They Appear.
Outside a farm:
HORSE MANURE: $1 PER PRE-PACKED BAG -
25 CENTS DO-IT-YOURSELF
In a cleaner's shop:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE
FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS
WILL BE DISPOSED OF
On a Secretary's Desk:
The buck doesn't even slow down here!
In a hotel:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.
In a department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
On a repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING
Please knock hard - the bell doesn't work.
In an office building restroom:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER.
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
On a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip -
Call your plumber!
On a tire shop:
INVITE US TO YOUR NEXT BLOWOUT!
In a veterinarian's office:
Be back in 5 minutes.
Sit! Stay!
On a health food store:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.
On a fence:
SALESMEN WELCOME!
Dog food is expensive.
In a non-smoking area:
If we see smoke,
we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action.
At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place!
On a funeral home:
DRIVE CAREFULLY. WE'LL WAIT.
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