Showing posts with label hilarious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hilarious. Show all posts
Friday, January 4, 2013
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Thursday, September 8, 2011
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
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Place in Heaven (Joke)
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Sunday, August 21, 2011
Interview with a One-Year-Old
Hahahah! This is so funny!
Pay attention when the kid says " You need to go to a doctor." hahahah!
Thanks to @ParisHilton for sharing this on twitter. Really made my day.
AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Why Men Have Better Friends
Women's Friends: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The husband called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew what she was talking about.
Men's Friends: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed he was still there.
The husband called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew what she was talking about.
Men's Friends: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed he was still there.
SIGNS of the TIMES!
On a laundromat washing machine:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
On a College Bulletin Board:
The seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
Outside a disco:
MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN
EVERYONE WELCOME
On a maternity room door:
PUSH. PUSH. PUSH.
In an Office:
Warning: Dates On Calendar Are Closer Than They Appear.
Outside a farm:
HORSE MANURE: $1 PER PRE-PACKED BAG -
25 CENTS DO-IT-YOURSELF
In a cleaner's shop:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE
FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS
WILL BE DISPOSED OF
On a Secretary's Desk:
The buck doesn't even slow down here!
In a hotel:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.
In a department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
On a repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING
Please knock hard - the bell doesn't work.
In an office building restroom:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER.
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
On a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip -
Call your plumber!
On a tire shop:
INVITE US TO YOUR NEXT BLOWOUT!
In a veterinarian's office:
Be back in 5 minutes.
Sit! Stay!
On a health food store:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.
On a fence:
SALESMEN WELCOME!
Dog food is expensive.
In a non-smoking area:
If we see smoke,
we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action.
At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place!
On a funeral home:
DRIVE CAREFULLY. WE'LL WAIT.
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
On a College Bulletin Board:
The seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
Outside a disco:
MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN
EVERYONE WELCOME
On a maternity room door:
PUSH. PUSH. PUSH.
In an Office:
Warning: Dates On Calendar Are Closer Than They Appear.
Outside a farm:
HORSE MANURE: $1 PER PRE-PACKED BAG -
25 CENTS DO-IT-YOURSELF
In a cleaner's shop:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE
FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS
WILL BE DISPOSED OF
On a Secretary's Desk:
The buck doesn't even slow down here!
In a hotel:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.
In a department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
On a repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING
Please knock hard - the bell doesn't work.
In an office building restroom:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER.
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
On a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip -
Call your plumber!
On a tire shop:
INVITE US TO YOUR NEXT BLOWOUT!
In a veterinarian's office:
Be back in 5 minutes.
Sit! Stay!
On a health food store:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.
On a fence:
SALESMEN WELCOME!
Dog food is expensive.
In a non-smoking area:
If we see smoke,
we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action.
At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place!
On a funeral home:
DRIVE CAREFULLY. WE'LL WAIT.
Guess Who I'll Marry!
A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, 'The red-head in the middle."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
"I don't like her."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, 'The red-head in the middle."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
"I don't like her."
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Little Led Liding Hoot (M'sian and Singlish version)
Once upon a time hor, got one girl little led liding hoot. She want to go to Ah Mah's house. Morning alleady she go out one, she got take come one basket to put flower. She "do want" to walk long-long so go take shot cut. Wah!!! she dono got one animal follow her one hor! She happy-happy walk until she come to Ah Mah house.
"Ah Mah! Ah Mah! I come, open the door leh?" she talk. Then Ah Mah also talk back, "Come in lah I never close one." Little Led Liding Hoot open the house and go inside door.....
oh, solly solly....
...open the door and go inside the house, she got see her Ah Mah on top of the bed. She go ask Ah Mah.
"AH Mah, how come your eye vely big one hor?"
"So I can see you maahhhhh!!!" Ah Mah say back.
"Ah Mah, how come your year vely long one?"
"So vely easy to hear you one laah!!!!"
"Ah Mah, how come......."
"Aiyaa!!!! SO many question one ah you.... never die before heh?"
"Soly lah Ah Mah, I dono mah that's why I ask".
"What soly-soly! Now I want to eat you, I not Ah Mah, I animal one you know................."
Wah! Little Led Liding Hoot vely scared one, she scleam vely loud but llate alleady, the animal alleady eat her. She now inside stomach one.
Suddenly got one people, cut wood one, go inside the house. He want to save Little Led Liding Hoot, he go and cut the animal stomach and take out everything, but he too late, Little Led Liding Hoot become s*&t alleady............
"Ah Mah! Ah Mah! I come, open the door leh?" she talk. Then Ah Mah also talk back, "Come in lah I never close one." Little Led Liding Hoot open the house and go inside door.....
oh, solly solly....
...open the door and go inside the house, she got see her Ah Mah on top of the bed. She go ask Ah Mah.
"AH Mah, how come your eye vely big one hor?"
"So I can see you maahhhhh!!!" Ah Mah say back.
"Ah Mah, how come your year vely long one?"
"So vely easy to hear you one laah!!!!"
"Ah Mah, how come......."
"Aiyaa!!!! SO many question one ah you.... never die before heh?"
"Soly lah Ah Mah, I dono mah that's why I ask".
"What soly-soly! Now I want to eat you, I not Ah Mah, I animal one you know................."
Wah! Little Led Liding Hoot vely scared one, she scleam vely loud but llate alleady, the animal alleady eat her. She now inside stomach one.
Suddenly got one people, cut wood one, go inside the house. He want to save Little Led Liding Hoot, he go and cut the animal stomach and take out everything, but he too late, Little Led Liding Hoot become s*&t alleady............
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
ME and MY BOSS
ME and MY BOSS
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
He's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview .
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
what to do?????????????
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
He's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview .
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
what to do?????????????
Three Labrador Retrievers
There are three Labrador retrievers sitting in the waiting room at the vet's. A black lab, a brown lab and a yellow lab. The black lab turns to the brown lab and says, "Why are you here?" The brown lab says, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything. I pissed on my owners sofa, their carpets, their drapes, but the last straw was when I pissed in the middle of their bed." The black lab says, "What is the vet going to do to you?" And the brown lab says, sadly, "Lethal injection."
Then the brown lab asks the black, "Why are you here?" The black lab says, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, I dig up the flowers, the bushes. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets but the last straw was when I dug a big hole in my owner's sofa." The brown lab says, "What's the vet going to do to you?" And the black lab says sadly, "Lethal injection."
Then the black and brown labs turn to the yellow lab and ask, "Why are you here?" The yellow lab says, "I'm a humper. I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, the dining room table, a fire hydrant. Whatever I see, I want to hump. Why, last week, my owner had taken a shower and was drying her toes and I couldn't help it, I just hopped on her back and humped her." The black lab says, "So you're here for a lethal injection, too?" "No, I'm getting my nails clipped."
Then the brown lab asks the black, "Why are you here?" The black lab says, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, I dig up the flowers, the bushes. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets but the last straw was when I dug a big hole in my owner's sofa." The brown lab says, "What's the vet going to do to you?" And the black lab says sadly, "Lethal injection."
Then the black and brown labs turn to the yellow lab and ask, "Why are you here?" The yellow lab says, "I'm a humper. I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, the dining room table, a fire hydrant. Whatever I see, I want to hump. Why, last week, my owner had taken a shower and was drying her toes and I couldn't help it, I just hopped on her back and humped her." The black lab says, "So you're here for a lethal injection, too?" "No, I'm getting my nails clipped."
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Cat Bloopers
Hahahah! Cats are cats. Dogs are dogs!
whatever!
This video is soo funny I keep laughing my a** off everytime
I watch it.
Check it out!
whatever!
This video is soo funny I keep laughing my a** off everytime
I watch it.
Check it out!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Work Load Passion
When cats are so funny lolx!
haha this will brighten your day!
New employee
You are listening to Stevie Wonder
(It's your first day at work and all is fine and great)
After 3 months...
You are listening to HOUSE music
(because you are so busy that you're not sure if you're coming or going)
After 6 months...
You are listening to Heavy Metal
(your days start at 0800 and end at 2000)
After 9 months...
You are listening to Hip Hop
(You become fat due to stress and now you suffer from constipation)
After a year...
You are listening to GANGSTA RAP
(Your eyes start to twitch, you forget what a 'good hair day' feels like as you fall out of bed and live on caffeine!!)
And finally, after a second year...
You are listening to Techno
and have gone a bit... well... crazy!
Very Funny Hahaha!
haha this will brighten your day!
New employee
You are listening to Stevie Wonder
(It's your first day at work and all is fine and great)
After 3 months...
You are listening to HOUSE music
(because you are so busy that you're not sure if you're coming or going)
After 6 months...
You are listening to Heavy Metal
(your days start at 0800 and end at 2000)
After 9 months...
You are listening to Hip Hop
(You become fat due to stress and now you suffer from constipation)
After a year...
You are listening to GANGSTA RAP
(Your eyes start to twitch, you forget what a 'good hair day' feels like as you fall out of bed and live on caffeine!!)
And finally, after a second year...
You are listening to Techno
and have gone a bit... well... crazy!
Very Funny Hahaha!
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