Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Friday, January 4, 2013
Sunday, August 22, 2010
That's How The Fight Started
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
________________________________
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
________________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
________________________________
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
________________________________
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
________________________________
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
________________________________
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
--
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
________________________________
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
________________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
________________________________
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
________________________________
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
________________________________
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
________________________________
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
--
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Why Men Have Better Friends
Women's Friends: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The husband called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew what she was talking about.
Men's Friends: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed he was still there.
The husband called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew what she was talking about.
Men's Friends: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed he was still there.
SIGNS of the TIMES!
On a laundromat washing machine:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
On a College Bulletin Board:
The seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
Outside a disco:
MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN
EVERYONE WELCOME
On a maternity room door:
PUSH. PUSH. PUSH.
In an Office:
Warning: Dates On Calendar Are Closer Than They Appear.
Outside a farm:
HORSE MANURE: $1 PER PRE-PACKED BAG -
25 CENTS DO-IT-YOURSELF
In a cleaner's shop:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE
FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS
WILL BE DISPOSED OF
On a Secretary's Desk:
The buck doesn't even slow down here!
In a hotel:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.
In a department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
On a repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING
Please knock hard - the bell doesn't work.
In an office building restroom:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER.
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
On a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip -
Call your plumber!
On a tire shop:
INVITE US TO YOUR NEXT BLOWOUT!
In a veterinarian's office:
Be back in 5 minutes.
Sit! Stay!
On a health food store:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.
On a fence:
SALESMEN WELCOME!
Dog food is expensive.
In a non-smoking area:
If we see smoke,
we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action.
At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place!
On a funeral home:
DRIVE CAREFULLY. WE'LL WAIT.
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
On a College Bulletin Board:
The seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
Outside a disco:
MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN
EVERYONE WELCOME
On a maternity room door:
PUSH. PUSH. PUSH.
In an Office:
Warning: Dates On Calendar Are Closer Than They Appear.
Outside a farm:
HORSE MANURE: $1 PER PRE-PACKED BAG -
25 CENTS DO-IT-YOURSELF
In a cleaner's shop:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE
FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS
WILL BE DISPOSED OF
On a Secretary's Desk:
The buck doesn't even slow down here!
In a hotel:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.
In a department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
On a repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING
Please knock hard - the bell doesn't work.
In an office building restroom:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER.
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
On a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip -
Call your plumber!
On a tire shop:
INVITE US TO YOUR NEXT BLOWOUT!
In a veterinarian's office:
Be back in 5 minutes.
Sit! Stay!
On a health food store:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.
On a fence:
SALESMEN WELCOME!
Dog food is expensive.
In a non-smoking area:
If we see smoke,
we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action.
At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place!
On a funeral home:
DRIVE CAREFULLY. WE'LL WAIT.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Hitler responds to the iPad
Hitler has been dreaming about the day that Apple's tablet will be announced. That day has come and he is not pleased.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Little Led Liding Hoot (M'sian and Singlish version)
Once upon a time hor, got one girl little led liding hoot. She want to go to Ah Mah's house. Morning alleady she go out one, she got take come one basket to put flower. She "do want" to walk long-long so go take shot cut. Wah!!! she dono got one animal follow her one hor! She happy-happy walk until she come to Ah Mah house.
"Ah Mah! Ah Mah! I come, open the door leh?" she talk. Then Ah Mah also talk back, "Come in lah I never close one." Little Led Liding Hoot open the house and go inside door.....
oh, solly solly....
...open the door and go inside the house, she got see her Ah Mah on top of the bed. She go ask Ah Mah.
"AH Mah, how come your eye vely big one hor?"
"So I can see you maahhhhh!!!" Ah Mah say back.
"Ah Mah, how come your year vely long one?"
"So vely easy to hear you one laah!!!!"
"Ah Mah, how come......."
"Aiyaa!!!! SO many question one ah you.... never die before heh?"
"Soly lah Ah Mah, I dono mah that's why I ask".
"What soly-soly! Now I want to eat you, I not Ah Mah, I animal one you know................."
Wah! Little Led Liding Hoot vely scared one, she scleam vely loud but llate alleady, the animal alleady eat her. She now inside stomach one.
Suddenly got one people, cut wood one, go inside the house. He want to save Little Led Liding Hoot, he go and cut the animal stomach and take out everything, but he too late, Little Led Liding Hoot become s*&t alleady............
"Ah Mah! Ah Mah! I come, open the door leh?" she talk. Then Ah Mah also talk back, "Come in lah I never close one." Little Led Liding Hoot open the house and go inside door.....
oh, solly solly....
...open the door and go inside the house, she got see her Ah Mah on top of the bed. She go ask Ah Mah.
"AH Mah, how come your eye vely big one hor?"
"So I can see you maahhhhh!!!" Ah Mah say back.
"Ah Mah, how come your year vely long one?"
"So vely easy to hear you one laah!!!!"
"Ah Mah, how come......."
"Aiyaa!!!! SO many question one ah you.... never die before heh?"
"Soly lah Ah Mah, I dono mah that's why I ask".
"What soly-soly! Now I want to eat you, I not Ah Mah, I animal one you know................."
Wah! Little Led Liding Hoot vely scared one, she scleam vely loud but llate alleady, the animal alleady eat her. She now inside stomach one.
Suddenly got one people, cut wood one, go inside the house. He want to save Little Led Liding Hoot, he go and cut the animal stomach and take out everything, but he too late, Little Led Liding Hoot become s*&t alleady............
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
ME and MY BOSS
ME and MY BOSS
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
He's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview .
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
what to do?????????????
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
He's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview .
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
what to do?????????????
Monday, November 24, 2008
It's joke time!
A Filipino, a German and a
Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in
Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they were all sentenced to 20
lashes each.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's
my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of
you one wish before your whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:
"Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only
lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying
with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back". But even two pillows could
only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.
The Filipino was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the
Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from one of most beautiful part
of the world and your
culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two
wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Filipino
replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not
20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also
very brave." The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
"And what is your second wish?" the Sheik asked.
Filipino smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back"!!!
Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in
Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they were all sentenced to 20
lashes each.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's
my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of
you one wish before your whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:
"Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only
lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying
with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back". But even two pillows could
only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.
The Filipino was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the
Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from one of most beautiful part
of the world and your
culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two
wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Filipino
replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not
20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also
very brave." The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
"And what is your second wish?" the Sheik asked.
Filipino smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back"!!!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Marriage
Three women friends, one in a casual relationship one engaged to be married
and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation
eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives. After much
discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role
playing. The following week they met up again to compare notes: Sipping her
drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work
day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the
other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather
bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made
mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!
The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my
fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask,
leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we
not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I
made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long
scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight
leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.
I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he
grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for
dinner?''
and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation
eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives. After much
discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role
playing. The following week they met up again to compare notes: Sipping her
drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work
day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the
other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather
bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made
mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!
The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my
fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask,
leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we
not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I
made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long
scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight
leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.
I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he
grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for
dinner?''
Monday, August 4, 2008
Letter
> Dear Wife:
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
> I've
> been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
> it.
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
> you
> had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new
> hair
> cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk
> boxers later that night.
>
> You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight
> to
> sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
> anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating
> on
> me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case,,,,I'm gone.
>
> Signed,
>
> Your EX-Husband
>
> P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West
> Virginia together. Have a great life!
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
>
> Dear Ex-Husband:
> Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's
> true
> that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good man'
> is a
> far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
> drown
> out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it doesn't
> work.
>
> Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually the
> first
> thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl",,, but my
> mother
> raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything nice. And
> when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
> my
> SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>
> I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because
> the
> price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence
> that my
> sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
> silk
> boxers were $49.99...
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
> out. So
> when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I
> quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii . But when I got home you
> were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
> fulfilling life you've always wanted.
>
> My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from
>
> me.
> So take care.
>
> Signed:
> Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Carla' was
> born as Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you.
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
> I've
> been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
> it.
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
> you
> had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new
> hair
> cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk
> boxers later that night.
>
> You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight
> to
> sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
> anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating
> on
> me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case,,,,I'm gone.
>
> Signed,
>
> Your EX-Husband
>
> P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West
> Virginia together. Have a great life!
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
>
> Dear Ex-Husband:
> Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's
> true
> that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good man'
> is a
> far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
> drown
> out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it doesn't
> work.
>
> Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually the
> first
> thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl",,, but my
> mother
> raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything nice. And
> when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
> my
> SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>
> I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because
> the
> price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence
> that my
> sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
> silk
> boxers were $49.99...
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
> out. So
> when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I
> quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii . But when I got home you
> were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
> fulfilling life you've always wanted.
>
> My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from
>
> me.
> So take care.
>
> Signed:
> Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Carla' was
> born as Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
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