Some Crazy facts!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)




If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)




The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)




A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)




A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death!

(Creepy)

(I'm still not over the pig.)





Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.

(Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)




The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")




The flea can jump 350 times
its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)




The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)




Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)





Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)




The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm......)




Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)



Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing.)



A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)




An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)




Starfish have no brains.

(I know some people like that too .)





Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)




Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)




Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send t his to someone you want to bring a smile to.

(maybe even a chuckle.)




In other words, send it to everyone.

Kids are quick ...

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________ _________ _________ _________ ________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: &nbs p; Yesterday you said it's H to O.
____________ _________ _________ ____
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have

today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________ _________ _________ _________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I." < BR>MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
____________ _________ _________ ___
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's

cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louis
do you know why his father didn't pu nish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
____________ _________ _________ ________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
____________ _________ _________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the
same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: & nbsp; No, teacher, it's the same dog.
____________ _________ _________ _____
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps

on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

A Puzzle

Check this cool puzzle.....





A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened.



A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, "Twelve." The member replied, "Six" and was let in.



A second member came to the door and the doorman said, "Six." The member replied, "Three" and was let in.



The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The doorman said, “ten" and the man replied, "five."

But he was not let in. What should have he said?



C’mon guys put on your thinking caps & get the solution......





.....





......


......... Don’t keep scrolling... .... think about the answer


.......

........

Ans: - 3


The man had to reply the number of characters in the word the Doorman was asking.

He should have replied "Three" instead of "Five".



I bet you'll read the question again....

Genealogy

A little girl asked her mother,

'How did the human race appear?'





The mother answered,

'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.





The father answered,

'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'





The confused girl returned to her mother and said,

'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God,

and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'





The mother answered,

'Well, dear, it is very simple.

I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

Divorce Cake

Husband's woes ..lolx!

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.
I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their
school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school,
came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped
at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put
away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the
cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried
to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the
way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework,
then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the
pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,
bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went
to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don't
know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.
Please, oh please, let us trade back.'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: 'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and
I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine
months, though. You got pregnant last night.'

8 inches long

THE
RANGE
OF
8
INCHES
LONG.
THE
FUNCTIONING
OF
WHICH
IS
ENJOYED
BY
MEMBERS
OF
BOTH
SEXES.
IS
USUALLY
FOUND
HUNG,
DANGLING
READY
LOOSLEY
FOR
INSTANT
ACTION.
IT
BOASTS
OF
A
CLUMP
OF
LITTLE
HAIRY
THINGS
AT
ONE
END
AND
SMALL
HOLE
AT
THE
OTHER.
IN
USE,
IT
IS
INSERTED,
ALMOST
ALWAYS
WILLINGLY, SOMETIMES
SLOWLY,
SOMETIMES
QUICKLY,
INTO
A
WARM,
FLESHY,
MOIST
OPENING
WHERE
IT
IS
THRUST
IN
AND
DRAWN
OUT
AGAIN
AND
AGAIN
MANY
TIMES
IN
SUCCESSION,
OFTEN
QUICKLY
AND
ACCOMPANIED
BY
SQUIRMING
BODILY
MOVEMENTS.
ANYONE
FOUND
LISTENING
IN
WILL
MOST
SURELY
RECOGNIZE
THE
RHYTHMIC,
PULSING
SOUND,
RESULTING
FROM
THE
WELL
LUBRICATED
MOVEMENTS.
WHEN
FINALLY
WITHDRAWN,
IT
LEAVES
BEHIND
A
JUICY,
FROTHY,
WHITE
STICKY
SUBSTANCE,
SOME
OF
WHICH
WILL
NEED
CLEANING
FROM
THE
OUTER
SURFACES
OF
THE
OPENING
AND
SOME
OF
FROM
ITS
LONG
GLISTENING
SHAFT.
AFTER
EVERYTHING
IS
DONE
AND
THE
FLOWING
AND
CLEANSING
LIQUIDS
HAVE
CEASED
EMANATING,
IT
IS
RETURNED
TO
ITS
FREELY
HANGING
STATE
OF
REST,
READY
YET
FOR
ANOTHER
BIT
OF
ACTION,
HOPEFULLY
REACHING
ITS
BRISTLING
CLIMAX
TWICE
OR
THREE
TIMES
A
DAY,
BUT
OFTEN
MUCH
LESS..
WHAT AM I?
AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY GUESSED,
THE ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE IS NONE OTHER THAN YOUR VERY OWN...
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TOOTHBRUSH ...
what were you
thinking?
You PERVERT!
GOTCHA!