Marriage

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship one engaged to be married
and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation
eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives. After much
discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role
playing. The following week they met up again to compare notes: Sipping her
drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work
day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the
other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather
bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made
mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!

The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my
fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask,
leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we
not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!

The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I
made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long
scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight
leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.
I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he
grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for
dinner?''

Filipino Jokes!

Bisaya 1: "Gara ng kutsi, siguro kay Miyur iyan."!
Bisaya 2: "Dili bay!"
Bisaya 1: "Kay Hipi?"
Bisaya 2: "Tuntu ka man. Kay FATHER iyan. Gisulat niya sa likud o,
'SAFARI'."
_______

Misis: "Sir, mananawagan po sana ako sa mister ko kasi dinala niya ang
limang anak namin."
Radio Host: "Ok, go ahead!"
Misis: "Honey, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang naman ang sa iyo
diyan!"
_______

Hello! Heto na naman ako. Gulung-gulo ulit ang isip ko. May nais lang sana
akong itanong sa inyo.
Alam ko matutulungan niyo ako. Ang BIRDS FLU
ba ay past tense ng BIRDS FLY?
_______

Nakasakay ka sa FX ng ikaw ay mautot. Buti na lang malakas ang tugtog.
Bawat pag-utot, sabay sa tugtog. Nang ikaw ay bumaba, ang sasama ng tingin
nila sa iyo, bigla mong naalala...naka Walkman ka pala!
_______

WIFE: Himala! 'Aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi n'ya "GO TO HELL", kaya ito
uwi agad ako..
_______

Lasing (takot): May multo sa banyo natin!
Wife: Ha? Bakit?
Lasing: Kasi bumubukas yung ilaw pag papasok ko ng banyo eh.
Wife: Punyeta ka! Ikaw pala umiihi sa ref!
________

1st night lola wore see-thru dress, lolo didn't react...
2nd night lola wore t-back, lolo still deadma...
3rd night lola all naked, lolo said "Anu 'yang suot mo, gusot-gusot!!"
________

AMO: Sagutin mo ang telepon, Inday!
INDAY: (baligtad ang hawak sa telepono) Hilo? Hilo?
AMO: Baligtarin mo!
INDAY: Lohi? Lohi?
AMO: 'Yung telepon ang baligtarin mo!
INDAY: Puntili? Puntili?
_______

Juan: B-day ng asawa ko.
Pedro: Anong regalo mo?
J: Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
P: Ano naman sinabi?
J: Kahit ano basta may DIAMOND.
P: Ano binigay mo?
J: Baraha.
________

Pedro: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili na 'ko ng hearing aid. Grabe! ang
linaw na ng pandinig ko!
Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang.

________

Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na 'to, let's make
love.
Husband: Heh! Tumigil ka nga! Maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw
hindi na.
_______

KRIMINAL1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?"
KRIMINAL2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, isang oras na tayo dito wala pa rin
siya! Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya."