How to tell the sex of a bird

How can you determine a bird’s sex?
Until now I was never able to determine which was the male and which the female.

I always thought that it had to be determined surgically, while ornitoligsts spoke about the feathers, the size, the beak and other equally idiotic ways that required hours upon hours of observing them in their natural habitat and so on.
Until now…

Of two birds, which is the female?

In the next page you’ll see two birds. Study them carefully. Have a look and see if you can determine which of the two is the female.
It can be done.
Even by people with limited experience in birdwatching.

Now, send this to all the men you know.
And to all the women that have a great sense of humour..

Hahaha!

Before and After Marriage..heheheh!

Letter

> Dear Wife:
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
> I've
> been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
> it.
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
> you
> had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new
> hair
> cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk
> boxers later that night.
>
> You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight
> to
> sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
> anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating
> on
> me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case,,,,I'm gone.
>
> Signed,
>
> Your EX-Husband
>
> P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West
> Virginia together. Have a great life!
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
>
> Dear Ex-Husband:
> Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's
> true
> that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good man'
> is a
> far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
> drown
> out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it doesn't
> work.
>
> Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually the
> first
> thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl",,, but my
> mother
> raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything nice. And
> when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
> my
> SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>
> I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because
> the
> price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence
> that my
> sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
> silk
> boxers were $49.99...
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
> out. So
> when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I
> quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii . But when I got home you
> were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
> fulfilling life you've always wanted.
>
> My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from
>
> me.
> So take care.
>
> Signed:
> Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Carla' was
> born as Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you.

Why Men Can't Be Car Models...

(Click on to view large image)




Lolx!

International Symbol Of Marriage Is Approved-- Finally!

if u dont believe it just type "international symbol of marriage" in google n search for images...... ......... ......... .........





for those who are not getting what's in the hand of man ............ ......... .......it is creditcard.

Men and Women's Dictionary

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!

Family Feud!

*Family Feud *

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only!"