TEACHER:     Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA:             Here it is.
TEACHER:     Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:           Maria.  
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?  
JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER:      Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN:          K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L  
TEACHER:     No, that's wrong
GLENN:            Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:      H I J K L M N  O.
TEACHER:    What are you talking  about?
DONALD:   &nbs p;    Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have  
             today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:     Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I." < BR>MILLIE:        I is...
TEACHER:      No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE:        All right...  "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."      
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TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's  
               cherry tree, but also admitted it.  
Now, Louis
do you know why his father didn't pu nish him?
LOUIS:           Because George still had the ax in his hand.    
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TEACHER:     Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:           No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER:       Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the
              same as your brother's.  Did you copy his?
CLYDE:           & nbsp;  No, teacher,  it's the same dog.
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TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps  
                on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:          A teacher.