Thursday, May 8, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Three Women in Sauna
THREE WOMEN IN A SAUNA
THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN,
WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA
SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG
WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED.
THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY.
"THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP
UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.
A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND
YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE
FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE
PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."
THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE OUT
DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS
IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE SAUNA AND
WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE
OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE
OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.
THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID........."WELL, WILL
YOU LOOK AT THAT.. I'M GETTING A FAX!!
THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN,
WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA
SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG
WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED.
THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY.
"THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP
UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.
A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND
YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE
FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE
PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."
THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE OUT
DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS
IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE SAUNA AND
WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE
OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE
OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.
THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID........."WELL, WILL
YOU LOOK AT THAT.. I'M GETTING A FAX!!
How To Ask Your Boss For A Salary Increase
How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
How To Ask Your Boss For A Salary Increase
How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
Tattoo
I got this from my email.
"This guy had what he thought was a great tattoo...
until he wound up in jail. Now he's...
THE MOST POPULAR GUY IN PRISON"
"This guy had what he thought was a great tattoo...
until he wound up in jail. Now he's...
THE MOST POPULAR GUY IN PRISON"
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Exercises in the office (every one hour)
1st: Warming up
2ND: Stretching
3rd: the upper body exercise
4th: lower body exercise (moving to left and back)
5th: lower body exercise (moving to right and back)
6th: Head exercise (make sure to do the 2nd part, it works!)
7th: whole body exercise
8th: Jumping exercise: The Pose is the key! but remember to jump!
9th: relax
Well done!
2ND: Stretching
3rd: the upper body exercise
4th: lower body exercise (moving to left and back)
5th: lower body exercise (moving to right and back)
6th: Head exercise (make sure to do the 2nd part, it works!)
7th: whole body exercise
8th: Jumping exercise: The Pose is the key! but remember to jump!
9th: relax
Well done!
Don't Talk To The Parrot
I received this from a friend. lolx!
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check ."
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT; DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!" !
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his ince ssant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
" Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
See - Men just don't listen!
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check ."
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT; DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!" !
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his ince ssant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
" Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
See - Men just don't listen!
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